What will they think of me?
What can you achieve when you let go of fear and forget what you’re worried about other people may be thinking of you? Ever wondered what your life would look life if you didn’t for even a second, stop to think, ‘Oh, but what if it doesn’t work out..?’ Imagine what you would do, where you would go, what you would say…
The mental prison
We have said it before and we will say it again - the amount of time we spend, worrying what other people think of us is completely disproportionate to the amount of time people actually do spend thinking of us! Yet, this is often what stops us from taking the action we want to take or from saying the stuff we really want to say! We become trapped in a prison of our own mental making, restricted by what we think might be said about us if we don’t make a roaring success of something…
If you think that way, you’re not alone. We guarantee you’re in touching distance of someone else who is worried about exactly the same thing. They’re probably looking at you right now, thinking that you’re judging them for being crap at their job or for not looking good today. Little do they know, you’re worried about exactly the same thing!
How many times today have you worried about or considered what someone else’s opinion was of something?
At least once, if not more, right?
And we are pretty sure you didn’t wonder what they were thinking and assume that they think you’re doing the best job ever, that you’re looking gorgeous today or that they are looking at you and wishing that they had as much talent as you have in your little finger…It literally doesn’t cross our mind to think that people are looking at us and thinking all the good thoughts!
I don’t care!
What often happens is when we do something we want to do despite what we think others are thinking, it’s in an act of rebellion. Kind of a, “Screw them, they don’t know me, I don’t care what they think!”. Which isn’t true.
We do care what they think. And that’s ok! That’s perfectly normal to care what others think. Especially for us women, it’s hardwired into our DNA! What’s not ok, is when we assume that we know what people are thinking and then we take action (or no action) based on what we believe that assumed opinion is.
In the past I’ve avoided social occasions because I’ve been worried that someone would think I didn’t fit in there. I haven’t applied for jobs in case someone thought I was too big for my boots. I’ve not gone on holiday in case someone thought I looked to horrific in a bikini! Worrying what other people may be thinking - people who I don’t know, have never met and who are imaginary to me - has actually stopped me living my life the way I really wanted to on more than one occasion.
You got this
The temptation is to not actually share this by the way, as you may think I’ve bonkers, but in the spirit of transparency, I want to share with you that these kinds of thinking patterns are not uncommon. I also guess from what I now know, that I’m not alone in how this has affected me. We all get the thoughts! My Imposter Syndrome over the years has tried its best to inhibit my happiness! It’s on a pretty tight leash these days.
So what’s the answer? Well here are a few things you can do to make sure you don’t get in your own way…
Become aware of these thoughts and what they are saying.
Be kind to yourself and don’t judge yourself for having them.
Ask yourself what it is you really want to have happen.
Acknowledge that it’s your fear talking and thank it for caring.
Tell yourself you got this, and set your intention to do the thing anyway!
So the next time you catch yourself wondering what someone is thinking, try assuming they’re thinking how amazing you are! Because you never know.
And, besides - you really are.
Love and hugs,
Donna & Cheryl xx